If You Were Gone, PDC
by miiik
Summary: I wrote a two-shot Pewdiecry, and I will post this now before I regret it. Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors. ..That would be my fault. Rated T.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - I've missed writing, so I wrote this two-shot, and there ya go. I did this since I feel like Pewdiecry is back, everybody! TIHIHIHI. I should go to bed.. It's almost 3 am here in sweden, but I'm so hyped about Pewdiecryyyyy~~**

**Reeeeaaad,**

**Here's the story,**

**Read it.**

**Thank you, love you, bye,**

**xoxoxo**

"Ken, I don't feel like being in this house, it creeps me out.. Can't we just go back ..?" "No, this'll be amazing, Felix." "Ken, what are you going on about-"

Suddenly, Ken had turned around and was now facing Pewds, only a few centimeters distance.

"You know you and I have something.. special, right Pewds?" "W-wha-" "Shh, don't talk, just.. Kiss me"

"Ahhah, oh ken you silly goose, now comon let's-"

And he was cut off by kens lips.

And all he did was struggle.

But Ken did'nt let go, he just held him tighter, trying to get Pewdie to kiss him back.

_"Remember, september?"_

_"I do actually."_

_"We can make out later, cry."_

_"I was the one who coined the name 'Pewds' "_

_"Cry.. will you be my valentine?"_

_"I love you."_

_"I'm sorry Cry, I only said that beacuse I love you."_

_"I'm inlove with my friend."_

It was all so clear to him now, he could hear Cry's voice in his head and he knew, with Kens lips on his own, he knew.

He loved Cry.

He realised he was still being kissed by Ken, and he showed him away as hard as he could.

"Hey, man, wtf! Why did'nt you kiss back?" " 'Cus I don't like you that way, Ken! You should've asked me first!" "But I've heard you're inlove with some dude that is a close friend who you've made co-ops with, so I thought.."

"It's Cry." "Wha-"

"I'm inlove with Cry, I mean it's kinda obvious, you and I are really good buds, and it's always you flirting with me anyways, so yeah.. But thanks for the kiss, made me realise how much I really love Cry."

And with that, he turned around, just going to make his way out, when he heard it.

It was someone shouting. For him. His name.

"Cry?"

"Pewds, is that you?"

"Yeah, I'm here Cry!"

And he heard the footsteps coming closer.

"Oh hell no!" Ken shouted and Pewdie turned back to him.

And a sharp pain was suddenly present by his chest.

He looked down, a big knife right in his chest. And Ken, holding the knife tightly, staring into Felix's eyes, with a big smile on his face.

"Well if I can't have you, no one can."

"Ken.."

Ken ripped out the big knife again.

"Oh, I hear him coming, I should be moving then.. It was nice knowing you, fagget! Have fun with your pretty boy your last minutes here in life." And Ken jumped out the window, out into the night.

Pewdie fell onto his knees, covering the wound in his chest with his hand.

He heard the footsteps being just behind him now.

"Pewds?" A familiar voice said.

"Ryan.. Cry, don't.. don't come near, you can't see me like this.."

"W-what's going on..?"

"Cry don't take another step I'm warning you!" "B-but Pewds, are you hurt, wha-"

Cry had'nt listened to him and he was now standing right infront of Pewds.

Crys face went pale by the sight infront of him.

He could'nt believe what he'd just seen.

"Cry..."

His chest was bleeding, making the hand that was trying to stop it become red aswell.

Cry just stood there, he could'nt move.

"Pewds, don't.. Please don't leave.. D-don't.. Leave me.."

His words were only whispers now.

"Who.. Who did this to you..?" "Don't hate him, please Cry it was'nt his-" "WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO YOU FELIX?!"

"K-ken.."

His whole world was spinning now.

Ken could'nt have..

"But.. he would never.. Pewds..?" Felix had closed his eyes now.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck, no.. no no no no, no come on! You can't leave me now, not like this, not here! I'm all alone without you..!" His tears were almost burning their way down his cheeks and his vision was blurry, he tried to blink, just to see the most beautiful face one more time, alive.

"Cry.. Don't get mad at him, he probably did'nt mean it.."

"Fuck that! I'm gonna rip him apart!"

Before Felix could protest, Cry wrapped his arms around the swede.

"Just, stay with me, please..!" "This is it for me, Cry.." "Fine, if you're gonna die, I might as well!"

With that, he picked up a gun out of his pocket.

"Cry.. where did you get that, w-what are you-" "Shh, I'm gonna stay with you 'til your last breath, then, I'll come with you, away from here." "No Cry, don't you understand? Ken's gonna blame himself for everything then!" "I fucking hope he will!"

"You're not thinking straight now Cry.." "No I am, I know I love you Felix! And this is the perfect way out, we'll be without Ken and no one will judge us, we CAN be together now!"

"You.. You love me..?" "Yes! Yes, ofcourse I do, did'nt you know that?" "No, I.. I was just about to confront my feelings for you before.. this." "Well, we'll have that talk when we meet again." Cry said.

And before Pewdie could respond or protest, Cry forced their lips together.

Felix kissed back.

They did'nt want to let go.

But soon Cry pulled away.

"We'll continue this up there.." And he pointed to the sky. "Cry, this is crazy, you can't.." "Sh, just shut up and kiss me one last time on earth."

Cry held him tightly in his arms as Pewdie drove his last breath.

"I.. love.. you.."

Was the last words he said.

"I love you too f-friend, I-I'll see you up there.." Cry's voice was shaky and drowned in tears. Just as he raised the gun to his own head he heard the sirens of the ambulance.

And with a big smile..

"I'll see you soon Pewds.."

..he pulled the trigger.

Cry woke up.

The bright light made his eyes hurt.

Where was he? Was he dead now?

He opened his eyes again.

He looked around.

"Oh no.."

He was in a hospital bed, in a hospital, machines attached to him and a beep beep beep sound going on.

A nurse ran in.

"Oh hello Cry, it's nice to see you've finally woken. How are you feeling?"

"W-what did you.. What am I doing here?" "Oh we found you and.."

She paused to check the notes she was holding.

"..Felix, both very hurt, it's a miracle you're alive really-" "How did I survive a fucking bullet through my head?!" "Well Cry, whoever shot you, did'nt aim very well. The bullet went through your hair and only touched your head, but the shock of it all must've made you fade."

"B-but.. What about Felix?"

He rose out of the bed and started pulling out the stings from his arm.

The nurse did'nt answer him, she just tried to stop him.

"Where's Felix! He was only stabbed in the chest, it could'nt have touched his heart!" "I'm sorry, I'm so.. sorry. I really am."

He paused his movements, staring at the woman.

"W-what are you sorry about..?" "We could'nt.. Save him, he's.. gone."

"WHAT?!"

Cry ran out of the room.

He saw in the corner of his eye the nurse following.

He ran into a elevator, pressing all the buttons.

He fell down to his knees.

He clasped his hands together-

"Tell me where I can find you Felix, send me to you! I'll do whatever, as long as I don't have to live in this world without you!"

He waited a few seconds.

"Just give me a sign, whatever! I'll come to you and we'll be together, please let me be with you.."

The elevator door opened and he rushed out, away from the hospital. He waved for a cab that quickly picked him up. "The nearest drug store please." Cry said with a stern look. The driver nodded and drove him to a drug store, Cry asked the driver to wait outside the store, and he went in.

"Three boxes of painkillers, please." Th guy behind the counter looked at Cry with a worried look. "That's a lot.." Cry did'nt answer, he just payed and took the painkillers, then, he was out the door and inside the cab again. He gave the driver his address and waited for the car to start rolling, but they just stood there, parked by the street.

"What are you waiting for? Drive." The driver turned around to face Cry. "Please, don't do it, Cry.." "How do you know my name?" Cry was confuced, since he did'nt recognize the driver at all. "It does'nt matter. I know what happened, and I'm telling you, don't give up just yet, have hope, and patience." "Just drive me home." "I'll do that if you'll give me those painkillers." "I can just take antoher cab then." "I can call every cab in the city and tell them not to drive you, then call the police so they'll take you back to the hospital. Please Cry, just go home and wait for good things, a better tomorrow, 'cus it will be. I promise."

And somehow, Cry believed the drivers words, and he found himself handing over the bag of painkillers. Then, the car started and soon, Cry stood in his dark apartment.

But he did'nt cry. He just walked silently to his room, put on his computer, and started up a game. He was all numb, like his feelings were gone. He recored a video, trying to sound normal.

After a few hours, he went to sleep.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir? He's awake now." "Oh, sorry I must've fallen asleep. Good. Did he ask for me?" "No, sorry, but.. He did ask for someone called 'Cry', do you know who that is, so we can contact him?" "No, don't contact him, they're not friends anymore." "Well, alright, Ken. Now, would you like to see him?" "Yes, nurse, I would. Where do I go?" "To the last room in that corridor over there." The nurse said as she pointed over to a corridor in the hospital. Ken nodded and gave a polite smile before walking down the corridor and entering the room.

"Ken? W-what are you doing here? Where's Cry?" "I'm so sorry Pewds.." "Where's Cry?" "He's.. dead."

Cry woke up. At first, he felt happy, rested, and well. Then, everything came back to him and he remembered that Pewdie was gone.

But yet again, he did'nt cry. He did'nt show any signs of emotion at all, he just stood up, walked to the kitchen, and made breakfast.

He ate his breakfast by the tv, watching a random sitcom show without focusing on what he was watching.

When he was done eating, he turned off the tv. Then, he stood up and made a decision.

"From now on, I will seize the day, infact, not only this day, I will do it everyday, to make every single day count, and life will be okay, life will be wonderful, I can do it without Pewds! He has'nt been there my entire life, I could do it before, I can do it again."

And so, he got dressed, and out the door.


	2. Chapter 2

"And when I woke up, he was gone! And then, I met with my friend, and she told me that she slept with the same guy just the other day! And he left her too!" "Lydia, calm down, this has clearly nohing to do with you, this guy has problems. You're dealing with a so called 'player', and it's very sad that he got to a such wonderful lady as yourself. Just, don't take it personally and don't lose faith, a good guy is still out there for you!" "But, this man is dangerous, doctor!" "I'm a psychologist, not a doctor, dear Lydia." "Yeah, yeah, but listen, this man has slept with almost the entire city! I've talked to alot of friends and almost everyone knew of him and have friends who does too, he's fucked up!" "The entire city? May I ask, what's his name..?" "Yes, bevare of Cryaotic. His name is Cryaotic, but he calls himself 'Cry'."

"Hey, Cry! It's good to finally hear from you man!" Russ said happily in the phone. "Yeah, you too, pal! How's it going?" While Cry was talking to his friend, he was walking home from another one-night stand, leaving the poor girl sleeping alone.

"I'm good. It's really great to hear from you, I was worried since I heard about your feelings for Pewds and now he's gone and all-" "Russ, I'm fine, really. It's been 6 months since Pewds, and I'm doing great." "You sound like an emotionless robot, though, but okay. Have you heard from Ken lately btw?" "No, and I hope I won't. For his sake. I never want to see his sorry ass again. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going out tonight, so I have to look my finest." "Alright, see ya, bye, Cry!" And without saying goodbye, Cry hung up.

He entered his apartment and laid down on his big bed.

He entered a new bar. He decided for this bar tonight since he had'nt been there before, and hopefully no one would recognize him and know he was only looking for a one nighter.

He sat down on a bar stool. "Scotch." He simply said and the bartender poured it up for him.

And just when he was about to take his first sip..

"Hey, are you Cry?" He looked to his left, and saw a younger blonde guy, looking back at Cry with the question hanging in the air. "Yes.." Cry answered, and then looked away, he did'nt want contact with people who knew of him, and this guy reminded him of.. With his blue eyes and blonde hair..

"That's so cool, man! Hey, how do you do it? All the ladys, I mean. Learn me all your tricks, pleeease!" Cry looked back at the guy once again, who now had a begging face expression, and he thought 'this could be fun.'

So he drank his scotch and turned to the blonde.

"First, no strings attatched. Well, pretend there is, but only beacuse, if they know it will only be a one-nighter, they won't talk to you. But that's pretty basic and you should now that. The rest.. I don't think you could pull it off my way." "But, come on duude, please! Atleast tell me how you always manage to leave before they wake up!" "Okay, okay. But.. Well, my trick is that I never sleep.. So.. If I don't sleep, I can just leave when I'm sure the woman is sleeping. Simple as that." "Wait.. You never sleep? Dude.. That's messed up.. Why? Can't you just sleep and set a silent timer or something?" "No, you don't understand. I'm not staying awake to be able to leave them, I'm staying awake 'cus I know what's waiting for me in my dreams.." "What's waiting for you in your dreams?" Cry just stared at the guy and let the question hang in the air a bit more.

"Do you know how I can be with, and leave all these women, without even caring about it?" Cry asked instead, and the guy shook his head, waiting for the answer. "I fell inlove once. It was pretty long ago now.. I lost him. I lost the part of me that feels. I have'nt shed a single tear, and I have'nt breathed a single chuckle, but I don't care. I lost the ability to care. That's the key to do what I'm doing. And what I would normally say to you, if I were to be me like I was before, right now, I would tell you to just find that perfect one for you, marry that person, and stop playing around. But now, I don't care if you go home tonight with a woman half your age, and leave her in the morning, I'd say, have fun." The blonde guy looked at him, with sadness in his eyes. "I'm sorry, man. You know what, I think I'll go home and spend the night in some other way, but good talking to you, and thanks for the tips!" The guy said, and held up a brofist. Cry looked at the fist. "I don't.. Brosfist." "Oh.. Well, bye dude." The guy said as he shrugged and walked away.

Cry decided to go home after that, he did'nt feel up for it that night, and he felt tired.

And when he got out of the bar, the rain poured down.

"Aint that just my luck.." He mumbled as he put his hood on and started walking down the streets, towards his apartment.

And with his hood down, he stopped watching the streets ahead, and he suddenly walked right into another man.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry, I did'nt see you." A familiar voice said. Cry was hiding his face under the hood, but this made it hard for him to see the other persons face aswell.

So, Cry pulled off his hood, but stopped his movements when he saw who it was.

"No.. You're not real.. This is just my mind playing tricks on me.." The man looked back at Cry. "Cry..? Oh my god.. Cry! I.. You're alive.." "STOP! You. Are not. NOT. Pewdie." "What? No, Cry listen to me, I'm real, I'm here." "No, you're not real, PEWDIEPIE IS DEAD, GONE! FOREVER." "Calm down, please, just listen-" "No, goodbye, my mind just made you up." And with that, Cry ignored Pewdie and walked past him, towards his apartment that was visible from there now.

"Cry! Stop, please! Come to my grave tomorrow and I'll be there, to show you I'm real! I'm not dead, Cry! You know where the grave is, you're there everyday! Come by 3 tomorrow." Pewdie shouted after him, and Cry pretended not to hear.

But the words kept spinning in his head all night.

Could that really be Pewds? "Am I going insane?" Cry mumbled, looking at his tired eyes in the mirror.

It was the next day, and Cry pulled up his car by the graveyard. He checked his watch. Right on time. "What am I even doing here.. Believeing my own imagination.."He mumbled as he walked towards Pewdie's grave. The rose from yesterday was still gently resting on his grave, but no Pewds could be seen.

"As I thought, only my imagination. That's it, I'm going crazy." Cry mumbled and turned around to go back to the car, but he walked right into another, slightly taller, man.

"So, you came after all." Cry slowly let his eyes wander up to Pewdie's, who looked back at him. "You.. You're dead, Pewds." Cry felt his voice getting shaky and his vision got a bit blurry. Pewdie smiled back at him. "But I'm not." And now, Cry could see the tears streaming down Pewdie's face, and he felt how the same thing was happening to him.

"You.. Can't be real.." Cry whispered as a hand went up and to feel Pewdie's chest. "You're.. Real?" He looked at his hand, pushing on Pewdie's chest, then going up to his face, lining his features and brushing away his tears. "You're real." Cry said one more time as he put his hand on Pewdie's cheek. Pewdie smiled at him, and Cry did the same. But only for a short while. Cry's face expression changed into anger and his hand lifted of Pewdie's face, and slapped him, once, twice,-

"Stop, Cry, what are you doing?!" Pewdie yelled as he stopped Cry's hand by grabbing his wrist. "How could you let me believe you were gone?! You could've just.. Six months, Pewds!" Cry screamed at Pewdie. "Beacuse Ken held me captive! I escaped two days ago, and the first thing I did was come looking for you! And you have no idea what I've gone through to find you, all the bullshit gossip I've heard, that I hope to god is'nt true, and when I finally find you, you just tell me I'm your imagination, run away, then come back, just to hit me in the face. I've been living hell."

"Well, my life have'nt been a dance on roses either! I have'nt slept! I've gone insane without you! You took my feelings away, all I do is sleep around and not give a fuck, atleast you knew I was alive, waiting for you!" "I did'nt." "What?" Pewdie sighed and leaned against his own gravestone. "When I woke up at the hospital, Ken told me you were dead, and as soon as I got out of that place, he knocked me out and drove me to his place, he hid me in his basement, told everyone I was dead, but many already knew beacuse of you, and after all this time, one day when he came down to give me food, like he did everyday, I knocked him out, and escaped. Then, I heard some gossip about some guy called 'Cry', came to know it was you, and here we are."

Cry did'nt answer, he just walked up to Pewdie, put his hands on Pewdie's cheeks, and kissed him.

After a while, they needed air, and pulled apart. "Let's kill Ken?" Cry said with a grin. "Yeah." They both chuckled and walked back to Cry's car.

"Hey, we should probably move, by the way." "Why?" "Well, I don't want to live with this reputation. I have slept with more than I'm proud to say." "Well, Cry, what makes you think we're going to live together now?" "Well, that's how it'll be, whether you like it or not, I'm not living without you, I want you near me everyday." "Sounds good to me."

"I love you, Pewds."

"I love you too."


End file.
